Monday, March 29, 2010

Weddings and Babies

It seems that when you reach a certain age, all of your friends and perhaps yourself, are getting married and having babies. If you're not doing one of these things, you're being asked when you plan to do one of these things. As if they are the end-all be-all of life. Which leaves me asking the question - are those my only options? Is that all there is?

I don't want kids. I don't have a problem with them per se, I just don't have a strong desire to have any of my own. When I say this to people, the general reaction is like "You don't want kids...ever?" That is often followed up by "Well, do you wanna get married?" And I'm not sure that I do. However, I don't like the connotation that if I do get married - babies are inevitably a part of the equation. It's as if they're saying "good luck finding a husband if you don't want kids."

If marriage and babies are for you, then that's great. I'm happy for you. I have zero problem with either one. I just don't know that they are for me. As far as marriage goes - I feel like a lot of people get married simply because they don't want to be alone. Well, I don't have a problem with being alone. Sure, it can get lonely at times, but I'd rather be alone than be with someone just so I have someone. The prospect of spending every single day with someone for the rest of my life seems pretty daunting. I mean, there's a lot of times I like being by myself. I like only having to spend MY money on ME. I like making decisions without needing to consult someone else because it inolves them too. I like how easy it is to do my taxes. Most of all, I like not being required to put up with someone else's bullshit.

As far as babies go, well I've never been much impressed with them. While everyone else is "oohing" and "aahing" and commenting on how cute they are, I'm hoping the parents will figure out a way to make that baby shut the hell up and stop screaming. And newborns...really...none of them are cute. Not a one. I don't care what you say, no human covered in blood and secretions who is purple, wrinkly, slimy and crying is cute. Aside from that, you're telling me that there is WORSE pain than being on my period? It gets multiple times worse? Why would I want to put myself through that voluntarily? I already have no choice with the monthly pain, why would I want that pain multiplied to ANY degree?

I can barely afford to pay for me to live, I can't fathom the amount of money a child costs. It's seriously mind blowing. And then you have to hope and pray that nothing crazy happens to them in their lifetime. Somthing like getting snatched from the playground, or abused, or shot in a classroom - any of the insane things that happen to children nowadays.

I don't know, it might be weird but I've never been one of those girls who dreamed of living in a house with a white picket fence, being married to a doctor and having 2.4 children. Of course I've dreamed of a wedding - but that's because it involves me wearing a pretty dress, being the center of attention and planning an epic party. But trust, I'll figure out a way to do that without a groom.

I'm quite aware that my opinions may change. Perhaps one day, I'll meet someone who makes me all googly-eyed and forget all rationality and promise the rest of my days to him and have 4 of his children. I'm sure it's a possibility. But as for the moment, I'm really ok with the idea of living in a house by myself with two dogs.

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