Monday, March 8, 2010

"Into each life...

some rain must fall. Some days must be dark and dreary."
The Rainy Day, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This was the quote I had printed with my Senior Portrait in my yearbook 11 years ago. It still holds true and still means to me now what it meant then. Obviously, not much in my life has changed. I remember someone commenting on how depressing the quote was and remember being surprised by them feeling that way. Depressing? That wasn't how I meant it at all. It's a fact of life. If calling it to your attention is depressing, you must live a very happy, blessed and trouble-free life. Some days must be dark and dreary. Not every single day of your life will be perfect. Sometimes, bad things happen that make you sad. Fact. If anything, I found it to be a hopeful statement. If you take the quote in the context of the poem it was written in, it's making a universal statement. The line that precedes this famous quote is "Thy fate is the common fate of all." Basically saying that - you know what, you're having a bad day. Everybody has bad days sometimes and it's o.k.

I'm having one of those days today. Everything seems to have been going to crap for me since I woke up - late, this morning. I keep trying to stay positive and move on, but with every positive thought comes another negative thing happening in my day. I'm just not strong enough to shoulder all of the outside forces affecting my reality. It's too much.

What I really want to do is eat a big bowl of ice cream and chocolate and peanut butter and lay in bed and cry and watch movies. And add popcorn while you're at it. In reality, would one day of binging on sweets completely kill my diet? Well, speaking long term - no. Would eating and watching movies do anything to help my mood? MMM, it might - but then again it might not. Would it fix any of the problems that are causing my terrible day? No. But will sticking to my diet and working out fix any of those problems either? No. It's kind of a draw there.

I'm having a horrible day. And I really want to make myself feel better with dairy and chocolate and salt. But I have the presence of mind to know that those things ultimately won't make me feel better. Or will only do so temporarily. And that though unconnected to my current state of mind and my current issues, sticking to my diet and working out today will be better for me in the long run. I'll be happy at the end of the week that I stayed the course, even if I may not feel like it today.

I certainly hope tomorrow is a better day for me.

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