Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Baby Steps

Although there are only a handful of things that I'm working on improving in my life, the work it takes to improve all of these things can sometimes be overwhelming. I try to keep reminding myself that I don't have to accomplish anything overnight. When I try to focus on the steps that will get me to where I need to be instead of always taking in the big picture, it helps.

I have some debt to pay off. Paying down debt amidst living expenses and "luxury" money is tough. Typically my "luxury" money is used for groceries and gas. But I do believe you have to invest in things that are important as well as "splurging" here and there. My investments include work out clothes that fit (since the old ones are too big, yay!), my next work out program - INSANITY, and my meal replacement SHAKEOLOGY. I know to some people - these seem like frivolous things to spend money on, but these are all contributing to me working on goals that I've set. It just so happens that most of my goals require financial investment.

Of course losing weight is a huge goal of mine. As I mentioned above, I'm investing in it financially as well as physically. I know where I want my body to be and how I want it to look. It does feel like it's taking longer than it should, but I have to focus on my day to day efforts. I have to focus on the fact that I did pull ups for the first time last week. And on the fact that I ran for 50 minutes straight. I have to focus on the fact that I'm still losing inches, even if it's only one or two at a time.

My hair has grown. I wouldn't consider it long, and it's definitely not as thick as when I was younger. But it has grown. As evidenced by the fact that the back used to be bleached from the root, and now it's all my natural color.

Job hunting is daunting, especially in this economy. Applying for job after job and hearing NOTHING in return can really wear on your self esteem. It makes you wonder, start asking questions - is my resume horrible? Am I unqualified for everything? But you have to keep trying - or stay at the job you're miserable at.

I've started going to church again. I was mainly trying to find a place where I felt like it actually related to my modern life. The group is really nice and inviting and not judgemental at all. However, I sometimes just feel "not as holy" if that makes sense. When the pastor talks about living your life for God, that seems like a pretty tall order. Aren't THOSE Christians really boring? Wouldn't my life be really boring? I do believe in God and I am a Christian, but sometimes the rules that go along with that seem pretty difficult to follow.

Luckily, I am currently employed. So I don't NEED a new job this second. I want one, but for the time being I'm not desperate. I'm making more than the minimum payment on my debt. I want it all to go away right now. I would love to be debt free. But my credit score is good and I'm making gains toward getting things paid off. Does my hair grow slower than everyone else's? Sure feels like it. But I do have hair, and it is growing albeit slower than I'd like. I'm putting effort into all of the areas of my life that I want to change. I'm not just sitting back and wishing for a difference. I am taking the necessary steps that will eventually lead me to reach my goals. Baby steps, though they may be, are still moving me forward.

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