Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Chain

We are who we are. There's a lot to learn, but much of who we are is just IN us, it's just the way we were born. I've tried many times to change things about my nature, but I just can't. I will always naturally think of other people before I think of myself - whether they deserve it or not and no matter how much it hurts me. I will always be annoyed by ignorance and selfishness, no matter how much I try to be tolerant. And I will always fight for what I want. Even when I'm tired and I want to stop - I may be able to quit for a while, but eventually, I'll have no choice but to carry on. I don't give up. It's just not me.

When I was a kid, I wanted a cat. My mom knew my dad would never go for it, so when she got tired of saying "no" she finally moved on to "get your dad to agree to it." I believe there was also a clause in there about making honor roll for a year, but I was a straight A student at the time, so that was easy. Turns out, so was convincing Dad. It was as easy as asking. But what if I didn't bother? What if I had just taken "NO" as an answer and cried and given up?

When I was 15, like most girls - I wanted a Sweet 16 Party. My parents just weren't interested in throwing me one. Well I wanted it. Period. I saved my own money from my babysitting job, booked a venue, sent invites, hired a DJ, bought a cake and bought a new outfit. I threw my own Sweet 16.

Sweet 16!!!
When I got to college, for some ridiculous reason I started out as a music major. In case you don't know, they do four times as much work for half the amount of credits. But I wanted to pledge a sorority. A normal credit load was 15 credits of 3 credit classes. I had a load of 18 credits with 1 credit classes and 0.5 credit classes and maybe two 3 credit classes. I also had two jobs. I pledged what is to this day the toughest sorority on campus. My days were BOOKED solid with class, work, and sorority events daily from 6am - to midnight. But I wanted in, and now my sisters are some of my closest friends.

Which finally brings me to the title of my story. I've been working super duper hard lately on what is essentially getting my own business started. If left to my own devices, I will work non stop. I had to start implementing for myself what I like to call "Mandatory Fun Time." Because if I seriously didn't schedule it, I wouldn't do it and I would burn out. So, this past Halloween - I committed myself to going out with friends. I decided I wanted to go as Young Money Rapper, Nicki Minaj. 2 outfits for 2 nights. I picked out my outfits in my head. Then, come the Wednesday before Halloween weekend, I realized "Hmm, I actually have to go PURCHASE these items. Right." I actually found everything I needed relatively easily. Probably the easiest costume I've ever shopped for.

However, there was this small matter of a chain.

Nicki Minaj wears a "Barbie" chain. A very specific, very sparkly, very big chain. I couldn't find any duplicates sold in stores and because I had waited so long for no particular reason, I knew I'd have to get overnight shipping if I ordered it online. But, I wanted it - so I ponied up the extra cash to get overnight shipping and expected my chain would be deliverd that friday afternoon, in time for me to have it and leave for my destination on friday night.

Now, normally - packages are left at my front door when no one is home. So when I got home from work after picking up the last few items for my costume, I expected to open the front door to a little envelope with my lovely chain. NOPE. What was there was a little slip that said something to the effect of "no one was home, we left the package at your local post office open between the hours of 9am and 5:00pm"

They NEVER leave a slip. They've always left the package. What the eff?! It was 5:20 at the time. I threw a world class tantrum. I mean a fit on par with a 3 year old who needs a nap and is fighting it with all of their might, complete with crumpling the little slip and throwing it across the room.

Of course, in the grand scheme of things - this was not that important. It's just a chain. And most people where I was going wouldn't know who Nicki Minaj was with or without Barbie chain. But that wasn't the point.


I wasn't beaten yet. I refuse. I refuse to go down without a fight! I jumped in my car and drove what felt like an hour to the post office, which was probably actually 8 minutes, that should have been 5 minutes without traffic. The front doors that led to the PO boxes were still open. And I tapped on the glass door that led to the actual post office with the biggest puppy dog eyes I could muster. A man came out from behind the counter and came to the door. The tears that were building up in my eyes were not entirely fake, but admittedly - I did play them up a little as I told my sob story. He grudgingly agreed to check if they had the package.

After the longest package search in history, he returned, unlocked the door and let me sign for it and take it with me. I thanked him copiously and finally cracked his exterior of stone and he smiled at me. And I had my chain. And I was Nicki Minaj for Halloween. And all was right with the world.

The Chain
I don't know what someone else would have done in my situation. I was in my car and driving before I even knew what happened. The very least I could do was try. If I went, and the Post Office was closed - I'd have learned a lesson about being more prepared. But if I didn't at least try, I would have always wondered.

What is it that you might be able to do or achieve or get if you'd at least TRY? It doesn't really matter what odds are stacked against you. If you at least just give it a shot, who knows what you can get. Stay determined. If you want it, go after it - no matter what. I wear my chain every day - not only because I love it, but because it's a sign of one of my proudest traits. I don't give up. If I want it, I go for it, I get it.

You know my name is - Nicki Minaj