Friday, January 6, 2012

Dating Series. Installment 2: Is This Thing On?

Is This an Interrogation?
I'm all for getting to know someone by asking questions, but what's with the machine gun interrogation? You should not send me multiple messages before I've had the chance to answer the first one. Your messages should also not read like a job application. And they absolutely should not have anything whatsoever to do with sex. At all.  Not appropriate at this juncture. You don't even know my last name, why in the hell are you asking me sex questions? If I haven't replied to your last 3 messages and it's been a few weeks, it's safe to say I'm not interested. And if I've already told you politely that I'm not interested, it's safe to say that I'm not interested.

Nice Guys Finish Last - My Ass!
This phrase is stupid. Ok, maybe the phrase itself is fine - but most of the guys that use it are stupid. Nice guys do not finish last. There are lots of girls who want the nice guy. But that "nice guy" is not nice to those girls. That "nice guy" is chasing the girls who pose a challenge. They don't want you if you're not hard to get. That "nice guy" is a huge effing douchebag to the nice girls. Then he tries to lay out all of his best stuff for the stuck up bitches and wonders why he always gets hurt. It's the girls you're choosing. Yes, it is your fault. Nice guys don't finish last - you're just not as nice as you think you are.

Be Up Front
Look, if you're looking for sex - be honest about it. If you just want to message pretty girls, be honest about it. If you have no intention of having a relationship, be honest about it. I don't really care what it is you're out to do - just BE HONEST ABOUT IT! There are only two reasons people lie - cowardice and kindness. Lying in this situation is straight up punking out bullshit. Who feels the need to lie to complete strangers? What is that?  Especially if I call you out and you continue to lie? C'mon son, now you just look foolish. Real foolish.

Don't Be Lazy
Let's not forget, that although the scope of dating has changed - not EVERYTHING is different. Women still need to be wooed and pursued. You need to come after me. There's a difference between someone who will send a message or two and then try to get you to his house and someone who will message you for a while - with actual conversation, respectfully ask for your phone number and then ask you out on a date. A DATE. This is where the two of you are seen together in a public place. That does not mean your apartment. Or your bedroom in your parents' house.

Is This Thing On?
Nothing makes it more obvious that you're either not serious or you're just an idiot than not paying attention. If you ask a question that is blatantly answered in my online profile or that I've messaged you before, I'm annoyed. I don't expect you to remember every little thing about me. But the thing is, it's WRITTEN DOWN. You have a total cheat sheet. You can pretend that you remember things about me really easily. I do it all the time. Before answering a message, if you're not sure about something - you go to your saved messages and check on whatever question it was you had. Voila! If you're too lazy to even do that, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that you're really not that into me. Peace out.

Bottom Line
There are lots of douchebags and creepers online - just like real life. There are also nice guys, though they are much more difficult to spot behind the liars. Just like real life. Online dating is a huge pain in the ass and reinforces why I hate people. Just like dating in real life. Bottom line, for some of us - finding someone who's worthy of being let into your life takes effort. A whole lot of it. Just.Like.Real.Life.


  1. Good post - I'm Missy on your FB btw. I see the Nice Guys post a lot too. I think those guys are just whiners trying to get a womanly "sympathy" vote.

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